Using Your Own Story To Shift to a Confident and Authentic Response
Updated: Jan 17
Welcome to this moment. This space is an offering to slow down and lean into what you are thinking, speaking, and acting in this new and precious week. As the New Year begins, I dig into new and inventive ways to meet the moment and feeling or not feeling. May this blog help you celebrate all you have done well in your life.
This week, I’m excited to talk about Dr. Melissa Peet’s work out of The Generative Knowledge Institute. I attended her keynote at the Midwest Coaches Conference in September and was inspired by the idea of shifting to solution oriented, confident, authentic responses using our own story as a narrative and guide.
When we feel we’re stuck in an impossible moment without good options or solutions, we have landed in our Dorsal Vagal State where we freeze and shut down. Just hearing that, combined with my own experiences of feeling inadequate or incompetent, helped me in knowing that all humans experience this under stress or trauma. Dr. Peet then described ways to return to our Ventral Vagal State which happens in times of rest and relaxation.
Our culture talks about this shift all the time. In schools we have red, yellow, and green light emotions. At work we hear how we need to use our breath to slow down, calm down, and access creativity. In relationships, we are encouraged to take a time out before seeking resolution to speak from a place of calm, caring, and safety. Putting it all together, these techniques are ways to move our body’s systems from a trauma state, Dorsal Vagal State, to a relaxed state, Ventral Vagal State. As Dr. Peet put it, our “trauma bodies to our generative bodies”.
Want to feel empowered and great in your day? Work with the body to help the mind keep on track with the right hormone responses. It’s gotten me curious to play with mind/body responses. It seems to me that getting the body in check with peace, positivity, and calm is one of the most powerful intentions to start the day with. You are filling the mind with the brain soup you need for creativity, expansiveness, solutions, and vision creation. The other way around can lead to the stress monkey in our minds thumping the cortisol button as a habit response. When this happens our neurons vault into flight/fight.
Dr. Peet said, “We reside in our culture body which holds the norms of the community we inhabit.” What a wonderful reminder that we can choose our culture and culture bodies and how this affects the room we inhabit. It starts with tending to our peace, calm and possible bodies. It is also a wonderful reminder of the culture we reside in and the importance of spending time with generative bodied people in a traumatic world.
Laura’s Reminders of Generative Body Resets:
Meditate daily. Follow your breath for the minutes you are able. My favorite app to support this habit is Insight Timer. It keeps track of my meditation practice with how many days I haven’t missed, and I love the bells. 15 minutes. Daily. Starting bell Kangse. Interval bell Basu. Ending bell Kangse. Check it out!
Don’t believe everything I think! I have habits that I have made over my lifetime that support a fight or flight response. I notice my thoughts and halt to be curious of what I need. Pivoting away from dorsal responses as soon as they pop up helps keep my body relaxed and my mind more creative.
Use the body for good! Move in ways that bring you joy! Mine is swimming and stretching. I have wonderful walking partners in place for the cardio I tend to avoid on my own. Set the day off right with a dose of natural endorphins and oxygenated blood flow.
Remember there is enough. There is enough time. There are enough resources. I have all that I need to meet this moment. I will have all that I need in the future to meet the moment. Evidence? I have had all that I needed to meet this moment. Now, I can relax and lean into enough.
Here are Dr. Peet’s Ideas to Reside in your Generative Body:
Remind yourself of three times before this moment that you met and thrived in a complex situation. What are the similarities in each story as to how you showed up? These are your superpowers. This is what you are good at and naturally rise up and use. Define those qualities or actions. These are the lamp posts illuminating your personal strengths.
Tell me about 3 people who have motivated and inspired you? These are your inner superpowers! Share this magic with a friend and listen to their 3 people. Then asked to be listened to for your 3 inspiring people. What emerges is a true sharing of what your superpowers are that reside in you. Test it out and see if an inner joy bomb goes off when you experience this conversation!
Listen with your feet. We have our heads, our hearts, our gut, our feet and ground. Connect with your feet. Deepen your awareness to be heard, valued, and appreciated by yourself all the way to the bottom of your feet. When we go deeper, we unpack our power and agency.
We experience joy bombs when we live in alignment with our authentic purpose and strengths.
Here is Dr. Peet’s TedTalk to find out more.
Need help tapping into your purpose and feel a joy bomb of understanding? Book a session today to get yourself “fluffed out”.