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  • Writer's pictureLaura Roeven

Do the Opposite

Just when things are figured out, they change.


Just like an earthquake has pre-tremors that can barely be felt before quake, change can cause an agitation before an understanding of the shift happens. Meeting the change can be easier when playing the opposite.

Our earth is constantly changing, shifting, in #movement. Our lives mirror that change and movement.

  • How quickly are you aware of changes that happen in your life?

  • When you know what is happening and can navigate with an easy skill that feels effortless, do you find you can fall into an automatic pilot mode?

Some hazards can be falling into an unexpected pothole of transition or running headlong into an obstacle not seen because it isn’t normally there. These are like the pre-tremors of an earthquake that can be felt or sensed but not acknowledged or processed with awareness.

It does not always feel good when we’re figuring out what is going on. We need time to get our bearings after we fall into a hole or sidestep an unexpected obstacle. It takes time to notice exactly what has changed. If it is a small change, like not seeing friends as often or working on something new, it is subtle at first. It’s as if it is felt on the edges of life before an understanding can occur. There is a lag of time between change, noticing what is different, and incorporating the adjustment as a new reality.

An unease can be felt in the body, irritating the mind, and can produce crabbiness along the edges of thought when we don’t notice the difference. Even if we’re not sure what has changed, change is felt along many layers of living before integrating the changes with a conscious mind. Left untended, it’s easy to find ourselves stuck in a corner, in a tight place with not much room. Sometimes it is a place of loneliness. Sometimes it is a place of uncertainty. It is always a place of being stuck. And when that happens, I find the best thing to get out of that space is to do the opposite of what I feel.

Do the opposite!

Shake it up. Ruminating and thinking without a comfortable solution? Move your body. Take a walk. Get out into nature. With the cold upon us, visit an indoor sanctuary such as #OlbrichGardens.

Invite. A lonely heart hurts. Meet a lonely feeling with knowing that there is someone else right now who is lonely as well. You are not alone. Send loving kindness out to all who are lonely. Do the opposite by inviting a loved one. Free concert? A cup of coffee? A yoga class? Unite lonely with another.

Send loving #kindness to another:

Sometimes the edginess is the stage of learning we are in. The 4 stages of competence are

  1. Unconsciously incompetent (I don’t know what I don’t know)

  2. Consciously incompetent (I know what I don’t know)

  3. Consciously competent (I try out and do what I know)

  4. Unconsciously competent (I perform with ease what I know)

What is the opposite here? Remembering where we are at with learning or trying something new can soften the uncertainty in the process. It is easier to meet ourselves with grace and kindness when we remember we are a novice rather than barraging our systems with irritation. Pushing ourselves a little harder to complete the next level might be the opposite of being comfortable and not growing. Stopping and remembering to take a breath and assess is the opposite of keeping on keeping on. This helps notice an obstacle or pothole before running unconsciously into it. What stage of learning are you in with what calls to you? How can you honor your growth?

“You have extraordinary treasures hidden within you. Bringing forth those treasures takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion. We simply do not have time anymore to think so small.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

#Hope. The opposite of cramped and tight is a place of light and emergence…hope. Where can hope land in your life? What does it require of you? Hope always blossoms when we remember to call it into being.

Book a coaching session today and capture a clear picture of where you are and where you want to be.



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