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  • Writer's pictureLaura Roeven

Pushed into the Deep. Now what?

I may or may not have chosen to be pushed off the pier and into the water. Either way, this moment engages me fully by surprise. One moment, I am standing on the pier and the next, I am flying through the air and into the lake. The quicker I welcome the water, the faster I’ll be swimming in my choice. Breaking down the process, let’s explore the: “Now What?” when our thoughts, words or actions push us off the pier and into the water.

Now what, I cannot shake this thought

Thoughts sometimes show up uninvited and hog our mental space. This line of thinking produces a sinking feeling. When you’re pushed in a lake, the last thing you need is to get pushed down further into the water. Giving negative thoughts mental space, is like holding on to a rock while trying to swim to the surface. It’s possible to swim but it takes a lot of extra effort. Thoughts can drag you down deeper by not addressing them. Here are some life preservers to toss into your day when a negative thought takes hold:

  1. Name the thought: What is the troubling thought? I am holding on to a friendship that has changed.

  2. Name the feeling it produces; I feel badly wishing the friendship to be like it was before. It makes my stomach ache and I feel confused not understanding what caused the change.

  3. What is my earliest memory of this type of feeling? I remember feeling like I was in trouble and the cause of a negative reaction. I hated not understanding what was happening.

  4. Awareness discovered; I have always felt uncomfortable not understanding when something has changed outside of my control.

  5. Decide to release this thought with desire to fully let it go. I don’t want to hold on to this any longer. I offer my effort at returning to peace and stability to all those working to do the same.

Like swimming to the surface after following a sinking thought, your vibrancy and effort at returning to the present moment are what breaks the surface to sunshine and air. To choose to notice, name, find awareness around, and release the negative thought pattern is to stop enduring the weight of a dreaded thought. What will you do with this freedom? Splash, laugh, appreciate the freedom of this moment?

Now what, My words have Failed, I’m in the Lake

Do you ever discover that you’ve tripped up in conversation and have fallen in the lake? Disoriented, surprised, not being prepared for this experience, are all normal feelings when we find ourselves in a conversation we did not know we were going to have. This happens because we’re human. It will happen that we misunderstand each other. It’s also certain that some conversations will lead where we don’t expect it to go. From walking on the pier to falling in the lake, what do you do when communication plunges? Now what?

  1. Own it; I’m sorry. I’m a little lost. Where are we at in this conversation? What do you want me to know about this?

  2. Be vulnerable; I see my words have led us where I’m not comfortable. Just wanted to check in, I’m having a hard time reading you.

  3. Mirror; I see that you seem agitated. What isn’t going well in this conversation?

  4. Offer Support; You can always come to me with concerns. I trust you to ask for what you need. What support would make this easier?

There is always more than just landing in the lake. Always.

Staying present with whatever is happening in the moment is the answer. You can trust that you can fully meet the moment, whatever is happening, if you stay with what is. Not wishing it to be different in any way, offers the infinite wisdom of the moment. The moment, that plunge into the present moment, can offer beautiful, vast, limitless possibility. Yes, it can feel cold, wet, and unexpected. It can also produce laughter, surprise and a new beginning. Stay with the moment and discover what treasure can be found. It’s more than just landing in the lake.

  1. Do you want to get out of the lake? Swim to shore.

  2. Do you want to change the conversation? Start with the end in mind.

  3. Do you want to feel vibrant? Align your thoughts, words and actions around vibrancy.

  4. Do you want health? Start a healthy habit and keep for 30 days. Add another after a month.

There is always more than just landing in the lake. Always.



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